i feel like mr. brightside is one of those songs you’re gonna hear on the radio in the car 20 years from now after not hearing it in forever and your gonna just start sobbing bUT ITS JUST THE PRICE I PAY DESTINY IS CALLLLINGNG M E and your kids are gonna be like is she okay
my mom is getting a puppy
which she corrected by saying “no. its our puppy. just me and you”
and its a pitbull black lab german shepard mix and I get to name the little dude when he gets here.
and the only stipulation is that my mom asked that I name him something she can pronounce (“not that I dont like the name Tuukka for your cat. it’s just hard”).
So, my house is gonna be a bigger zoo now; two dogs, five birds and my cat.
me: i want something very short and small and cutesy but most importantly body safe and discreet
sex toy companies: try the DEVASTATOR SEVENTY THREE INCHES OF PURE JELLY RUBBER HYPER REALISTIC VEINS WE SHOWED IT TO A NUN ONCE AND SHE BURST INTO FLAMES THERE’S ONLY ONE SETTING: DEVASTATION THE VIBRATIONS CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKE MILLIONS ARE DEAD
- shrek one: BEST
- shrek two: the funniest movie i have ever seen. literally one of the funniest comedies of all time. incredible pacing and dialogue. reference jokes that were actually funny. surreal world that was so modern fantasy it actually worked. rocking score. awesome scene set to "i need a hero" being sung by the villain unironically and completely played straight. a bar of villains. just overall the best concepts ever.
- shrek three: bad
- shrek four: bad